After a year of college, moving back into my parents’ house was just about the last thing I wanted to do. Unfortunately, my financial situation (read: "my empty bank account") didn't really lend itself to any other options, so here I am.
I certainly wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with my parents, but I couldn't say we're super close either. Our relationship has improved since I’ve started college, but now that I’m back it's been difficult (for all of us) to balance their interest in my life and my new independence.
Issues that have come up:
- How do I tell you a funny story from college without mentioning that my friends and I were drunk?
- Do I need to ask every time I use your car?
- Do I need to tell you where I'm going?
- Are you allowed to tell me when I need to be home?
- Am I allowed to ask for a glass of wine/can of beer when you have one?
- Can I ask you not to ask about my love life (or pathetic lack of one)?
- Where is the line between a “rebellious independent” and a “disrespectful dependent?”
- And can I somehow manage to eat extra food now so I won’t have to pay for food when I go back to the dorms?
I admit most of my inner conflict has been from wanting the freedom of college back—namely going where I want when I want and not having to report to someone—but feeling obligated to report to my parents so they don't worry. I’m more aware than ever of my deep, sub-conscious desire to reject my parents and become an adult, but I don’t want to be a jerk or make them concerned about my “ability to make good choices” as my mother would say.
It has been really nice, however, now that I’m feeling more like an adult in their eyes. Despite this awkward transition phase, there have been moments that have made me feel like I can make relevant contributions and that we’re really becoming equals. It’s just difficult to know how far I can take it.
